To-day was a friendly day. I arranged candy canes in the shapes of hearts, and ate a quarter of a large chocolate bar. The guilt still weighs in my stomach.

We'll have a gift exchange tomorrow, lip glosses locked in stocking sized boxes, and loopy letters of holiday greeting. We'll talk of duet solo groups and kissing booths in dark alleyways. How I love the feeling of enclosure, the feeling of fingers clasped around my own. I may be considered romantic.

But despite that.I was called thin today, and tried not to think of a stick dressed up in mommy's makeup–playing awkward in the rain.